When it becomes a reality, again..

From The Diary of a Hopeful Woman

This cautiously happy post is in honor of not only the author’s good news, but also in honor one of our regular readers who has reached 40 weeks, and will be induced tomorrow if she doesn’t go into labor naturally before then, so good luck to her! xoxoxox–MM

*Warning* This post talks about pregnancy after Miscarriage.

I wasn’t ready for the world to know when this was originally published, now, the world is allowed to know.

Thanks for understanding why you’re not the first to know.

During the middle of last week I was getting hit with extreme fatigue and nausea, two of the symptoms that beat me to a pulp during my last pregnancy before our miscarriage. The weekend was exhausting and overwhelming, and I did nothing much out of our normal routine.

According to my Glow and Ovia apps, I am not due for my period until Thursday (tomorrow) or Friday. But we all know, we can test early thanks to the overpriced HPT’s available. (HPT = Home Pregnancy Test) So while at the grocery store yesterday buying necessities to get us through the next two weeks, I picked up two boxes of tests. First Response & Clearblue Digital test with weeks estimator.

I debated for a couple of days on whether I wanted to wait for my missed period or check-in with my body and just pee on a stick. Well, clearly, I decided not to wait. Luke helped me with the decision and told me to go ahead and test today, if unclear or negative results we can just wait till the period shows up or if it doesn’t come by Monday, test again.

I saw that the design of the tests have changed, but wow – they’re awesome now! Love the wider tip and handle design – makes it SO much easier!

The pee started raising into the window, I sat it on the counter and waited. Luke let the dogs out as I was peeing on the stick, then when he came back in and came up the stairs, I peeked at it and said, “I think we got it.” There was a faint line on the left side (the pregnant line). I stared at it waiting for it to get darker or disappear like a sick joke. I decided to stop looking long enough to brush my teeth. He questioned it being faint and wondered if that counted. According to what I read during our first pregnancy, even the faintest of line, counts. He grabbed the box out of my drawer and read the box that quoted what I just told him.

As the test sat on the counter, we finished getting ready. The both of us observing the pregnant line going from faint to obviously there. By the time we were ready to leave for work, there was no question, there are two pinks lines.

I entered my positive test into Glow and Ovia, obviously both apps forced their pregnancy apps onto me. So I re-downloaded them. Both had my previous pregnancy on there, and notified me that my baby was 5 weeks old and this is how we should be progressing, etc etc. Oh joy. What a thing to see and be reminded of today..

I had to record that my previous pregnancy ended in miscarriage (something I thought I already did). Glow was much more difficult to figure out how to do that on. Ovia was pretty simple.

I put in the first day of my last period (06/13/15) and it estimates our due date at the end of March. But for the sake of my sanity, I refuse to look THAT far ahead for quite awhile.

I didn’t expect to react to the positive results like I did.. I was so sure I would cry (either a happy or sad cry, maybe a mix of both) – I didn’t cry. I thought I would smile, I didn’t. I thought I would be in shock, I somewhat was. The feeling that I felt was unsure, nervous, happy but cautious – I felt protective of my heart.. if that makes sense (I know it doesn’t).

Luke said he wasn’t going to get his hopes up yet, which described exactly what I was thinking that I couldn’t put into words.

So despite our positive test this morning, we are waiting to officially miss the period and test this weekend again. I will be using the First Response again, and if there are two lines again, I will be taking the Clearblue Digital test with weeks estimator – to see what it has to say.


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